Fat is not a feeling, fat is not a feeling, fat is NOT A FEELING.

I have to keep telling myself this, fat is not a feeling, although it is what I see when I look at myself in the mirror. i hate my body so much, i cant keep looking at it, poking at all my flab and wobbly bits, it makes me cry, so here i am standing in front of the mirror crying my eyes out once again, I know its no good having a full length mirror, but i cant bring myself to get rid of it, because i can make sure i dont get too fat. I just keep torturing myself over and over about how chubby im getting. It scares me though because i know my weight says one thing and the mirror says another...it doesnt make sense, i dont like it one bit. I want to get better i really do, i just want my head to shut up and let me get on with it :(

love xxx