Wednesday, 15 February 2012

dear eating disorder...

For the last 6 years you have had all the control, you have been in the driving seat of MY life, for so long I have followed YOUR rules and obeyed your commands. You've put me in hospital time after time, you've turned me into nothing but a shell of the girl I once was, you stripped me of my dignity and self respect, and to put it bluntly you would have killed me had I not plucked up the courage to fight against you.

I can hear you squriming away in  my head, getting agitated and frustarted, because you know I'm really serious this time. Shouting at me, kicking me down, making me paranoid and scared, thats what you're doing now, you are desperately trying to grab me back into your clutches.. but guess what? You can throw ANYTHING at me, ANYTHING, and I won't give in. You and me? no more.
I'm fighting back against you, really well and truely tearing you to shreds, and I will continue until you are nothing but a memory and I am free from your evil controlling ways. You can say anything you want, try all the tactics you used in the past, but deep down you're squirming because you know that this is it.

I mean business bitch, and I'll happily watch you squirm!

So I'll say goodbye to all the pain, to the suffering, the lonliness, the fear, and I'll say hello to the journey of recovery. It's scary and it's hard but I'm absolutely done with you. I'm looking to the future now, and it's exciting.

your former slave, Rachael xxx