I'm really not feeling good in myself at the moment, I feel as though I've all of a sudden balloned and the ED voice in my head is yelling so so loud telling me how fat I am and that I should give in to it but I'm trying as hard as I can not to. It just feels like the more I fight then louder it gets! Im doing things with my friends again though which is nice, one of my bestestest friends stayed at my house last night and we had such a good time, laughing and chatting and just being normal teenagers, she reminded me of why I want to get better, she showed me a good time and made me feel happy for the first time in ages - so thank you beautiful. To be honest I need some encouragement just now and I hate to say it because I dont want people to think I'm weak, I'm just finding this harder and harder as it goes on and I'd usually give in to ED by now so this is like aaahhh so hard not to when its yelling so loud! Fear not though, I am not giving in, I'm struggling a bit - but NOT giving in.
There is literally no way I could think of you as 'weak'. No way. No way at all.
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting beautiful. You can do this!
Love x x
:') awwwww. loved seeing you xx
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteI've just started reading your blog. I think it's amazingly brave that you're throwing yourself into recovery. I can identify with you so much, I have anorexia/bulimia too and have flirted with recovery but have never really given it a proper go. I'm just so scared of letting it go, of letting go of the control. But reading your blog has given me renewed hope so thank you.
I recently started writing my own blog too.
Much lovexxx
Please realize that struggling and feeling tempted to give in is not a sign of weakness, and is most certainly nothing to feel bad about. Every time you say no, every time you push past is a victory which you should feel good about. It's not going to be easy, you'll have ups and downs and that's okay. It's also okay to admit you need support, and from what I've seen I think you'll always get it. You're not alone in this.
ReplyDeleteKeep on fighting sweetie. Rooting for ya! xx
ReplyDelete