Sunday, 20 May 2012

BLEH.

BLEH. That's how I feel right now. Just bleh, and urgh, and UHSOOUDHIFVIDSK! :( yeah that good. You'd think that with the amount I've cried over these last couple days I had a bloomin river inside me or something. It starts and it just doesnt stop. Not good enough. Not pretty enough. getting fatter by the day, squidgy squidge, and failing at life. woohoo, everything is fucking brilliant. Maybe I cant do this, its all too much, depression wise I'm like a frigging zombie right now I feel as though I've fallen off the cliff and I'm right at the bottom. again. Trying so hard not to self harm, must keep eating, just want to close my eyes and make it all stop, fatty fatty lalalalala SHUT UP HEAD, wait you're right I am DISGUSTING AND VILE. well thats how I feel. this makes no sense does it? but hey my head is jumbled like a broken jigsaw so yeah. Para para paranoiddddd, they're laughing at me, they want to hurt me, everyone thinks im fat, wait thats because I am, or is it all a trick? they are definitely staring, I want to hide and never leave the house. Crying on the bus oh yeah thats a fucking great look, were did this come from? I had a good day with my friends, now all I see darkness. Maybe I cant do this.
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6 comments:

  1. littlefighter20 May 2012 at 18:21

    :( i want you to see the light though. your head is trivking you...you need to trust those around you. xxx we love you

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  2. Hope20 May 2012 at 20:10

    I love you<3 :( xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just me20 May 2012 at 21:20

    You can do it. Keep fighting it beautiful girl. Love x x

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  4. ricketyjo20 May 2012 at 22:08

    Keep going...Drop me an email with your email address if you like - I have something I think might help... well at least it might help stop you thinking about stuff so much. Lots of love to you!! xxx

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  5. Anonymous21 May 2012 at 15:25

    You can do this and I know that because you ARE doing it! Those thoughts in your head aren't real. They may only seem to be getting louder because you're putting up a fight against them- but you are so much stronger than them. Just think of them as faulty wiring and because they've been there for a while they can sneak back up sometimes but you're changing your thought patterns and will get rid of them! Angie xxx

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  6. Arundhati22 May 2012 at 17:49

    You can! You surely can..see deeper into yourself. You know you can..!

    Love.
    www.inthepourinrain.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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