Sunday, 20 May 2012
BLEH. That's how I feel right now. Just bleh, and urgh, and UHSOOUDHIFVIDSK! :( yeah that good. You'd think that with the amount I've cried over these last couple days I had a bloomin river inside me or something. It starts and it just doesnt stop. Not good enough. Not pretty enough. getting fatter by the day, squidgy squidge, and failing at life. woohoo, everything is fucking brilliant. Maybe I cant do this, its all too much, depression wise I'm like a frigging zombie right now I feel as though I've fallen off the cliff and I'm right at the bottom. again. Trying so hard not to self harm, must keep eating, just want to close my eyes and make it all stop, fatty fatty lalalalala SHUT UP HEAD, wait you're right I am DISGUSTING AND VILE. well thats how I feel. this makes no sense does it? but hey my head is jumbled like a broken jigsaw so yeah. Para para paranoiddddd, they're laughing at me, they want to hurt me, everyone thinks im fat, wait thats because I am, or is it all a trick? they are definitely staring, I want to hide and never leave the house. Crying on the bus oh yeah thats a fucking great look, were did this come from? I had a good day with my friends, now all I see darkness. Maybe I cant do this.